Have you ever found yourself turning down an opportunity that you have been preparing for a long time because you were not "ready"? Or suppressed a desire for change out of fear? How can you commit to a different path if you don't even know where the path begins?
Aaah, perfectionism. For me, perfectionism is another name for judgment. The real question is - how can I get anything done when I can't stop judging myself? What if despite my best efforts I am still not (gasp) perfect? Welcome to the human condition, the clearer side of my mind jests. If I believe mistakes are inevitable, where is all this intolerance coming from? What am I resisting?
Maybe the resistance is to accepting things as they are. For example, I could say (to myself) - "I don't want to be inexperienced in something new. I want to feel safe and confident in my decisions, and to be viewed with authority. I don't want to be wrong - or - I don't want to be embarrassed." Whatever happened to compassion (giving myself a break)? How can anyone learn anything without making mistakes? And what is worse - the pain of resisting the inevitable or pushing past the fear of potential ridicule?
Nityananda says: "If you are afraid of water, you cannot cross the river even by boat. If you are afraid of fire, you cannot even cook a meal. For anything to be done, first you must have courage." The thing is, courage is not the absence of fear. It's always scary because life isn't safe or predictable. But when one acts in the face of fear, and pushes a boundary, a shift happens. A self-defeating habit is challenged. Confidence is gained.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Expressing gratitude by receiving
When I was a little girl my mother forbade me from accepting any food or drink from the hosts at the home we were visiting. Even if I had been emanciated I would have still refused that icy cold Coke or fresh baked toll house cookie. "No, thanks," I would say slowly, glancing sideways at my Mom hoping she had changed her mind. "Don't look at your Mom, I'm asking you," the hosts would invariably say, "do you want a Coke or a cookie?"
After I grew up, my Mom and I would joke about my disappointment over not having the freedom to accept what I wanted. However, I don't think I ever gave a thought to the potential disappointment of the hosts who presumably only wanted to treat me out of love. It never occurred to me that a visitor is a gift that might inspire, even if not require, reciprocation - at least not when I was the visitor.
Today, a new acquaintance read the following excerpt from Cheri Huber's book Transform Your Life: "Today, allow yourself to receive your giving". Could rejecting our giving stop nature's assembly line somehow? I look forward to a time when all beings find intrinsic value in actions performed naturally, with inspiration, with unmotivated tenderness of heart - in "just" being Your Self.
After I grew up, my Mom and I would joke about my disappointment over not having the freedom to accept what I wanted. However, I don't think I ever gave a thought to the potential disappointment of the hosts who presumably only wanted to treat me out of love. It never occurred to me that a visitor is a gift that might inspire, even if not require, reciprocation - at least not when I was the visitor.
Today, a new acquaintance read the following excerpt from Cheri Huber's book Transform Your Life: "Today, allow yourself to receive your giving". Could rejecting our giving stop nature's assembly line somehow? I look forward to a time when all beings find intrinsic value in actions performed naturally, with inspiration, with unmotivated tenderness of heart - in "just" being Your Self.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Disattaching to the fruit of one's effort
You bring the thirsty horse to water, and it shakes its head no. You work hard to find your contribution to the world, to help someone in need, to improve a negative situation, or to enjoy your life. What is the point?
Sometimes the point is just to try, to keep trying. We are all but bite size pieces in a cosmic puzzle. We have our part to do and we do it, even when it seems to yield no fruit. What do we know? Is everything that happens perceived by our individual senses? Everything we do has an effect on others so responsibility over our actions is never pointless. Have you noticed how you could easily get stressed out if your boss or client is stressed out, and, conversely, how relaxed you may get when your boss or client acts like he/she trusts you and is pleased with your work? Each individual has an energetic effect over others, positive or negative. Have you ever encountered a time when someone remarks over something you said or did that you don't even remember? Just because you don't remember doesn't mean someone else doesn't remember. We all hang on to different things, a different kaleidoscope of memories we choose, which we call our past, which help form our image of ourselves in the present. This collage of memories could very easily tell an untrue story. I encourage you to take a piece of paper out right now, and write down a list of positive things that happened to you in the past two weeks. If stuck, start the list by writing: "I'm breathing". Then take out another piece of paper and write down a list of all the different things you can think of to try out that interest you. After the 2 lists are done, you can re-create the map of your past and gain perspective about your present and future.
The Bhagavad Gita reminds us that we are all foot soldiers in this field. We are not fighting on behalf of our individual identities, but on behalf of the one Self that permeates the collective - the same energy that ignites the stars and makes planets orbit around the sun. We are all part of something so much bigger than we can see, but we get lost by our own expectations, which are shaped by our limited vision. There are so many exciting possibilities we cannot even imagine yet!
Trusting that we are cared for, we march on.
Sometimes the point is just to try, to keep trying. We are all but bite size pieces in a cosmic puzzle. We have our part to do and we do it, even when it seems to yield no fruit. What do we know? Is everything that happens perceived by our individual senses? Everything we do has an effect on others so responsibility over our actions is never pointless. Have you noticed how you could easily get stressed out if your boss or client is stressed out, and, conversely, how relaxed you may get when your boss or client acts like he/she trusts you and is pleased with your work? Each individual has an energetic effect over others, positive or negative. Have you ever encountered a time when someone remarks over something you said or did that you don't even remember? Just because you don't remember doesn't mean someone else doesn't remember. We all hang on to different things, a different kaleidoscope of memories we choose, which we call our past, which help form our image of ourselves in the present. This collage of memories could very easily tell an untrue story. I encourage you to take a piece of paper out right now, and write down a list of positive things that happened to you in the past two weeks. If stuck, start the list by writing: "I'm breathing". Then take out another piece of paper and write down a list of all the different things you can think of to try out that interest you. After the 2 lists are done, you can re-create the map of your past and gain perspective about your present and future.
The Bhagavad Gita reminds us that we are all foot soldiers in this field. We are not fighting on behalf of our individual identities, but on behalf of the one Self that permeates the collective - the same energy that ignites the stars and makes planets orbit around the sun. We are all part of something so much bigger than we can see, but we get lost by our own expectations, which are shaped by our limited vision. There are so many exciting possibilities we cannot even imagine yet!
Trusting that we are cared for, we march on.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
The Meaning of Love by Rumi
"Both light and shadow
are the dance of Love.
Love has no cause;
it is the astrolabe of God’s secrets.
Lover and Loving are inseparable
and timeless.
Although I may try to describe Love
when I experience it I am speechless.
Although I may try to write about Love
I am rendered helpless;
my pen breaks and the paper slips away
at the ineffable place
where Lover, Loving and Loved are one.
Every moment is made glorious
by the light of Love."
are the dance of Love.
Love has no cause;
it is the astrolabe of God’s secrets.
Lover and Loving are inseparable
and timeless.
Although I may try to describe Love
when I experience it I am speechless.
Although I may try to write about Love
I am rendered helpless;
my pen breaks and the paper slips away
at the ineffable place
where Lover, Loving and Loved are one.
Every moment is made glorious
by the light of Love."
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Friendliness toward happiness
Have you noticed how the same activities feel different day to day? One day you wake up early to go to work, another day you are dragging your body. One day you exercise with ease and enthusiasm, the next day lifting your head feels like lifting weights. Same activity, completely different experience. What changes?
For me, I've noticed it sometimes has to do with my body (not enough sleep, wrong foods) but always with my thoughts. For example: "I am so tired" or "I don't want to do this", or "what if I can't do this?", or "what if this doesn't work?", or "you always do this," or"I can't believe I have to deal with this", or "how dare so-and-so do this?" You get the idea. It's about resisting whatever I don't like. Tough for me, because it is what it is. It's not about me.
Patanjali defines aversion in the Yoga Sutras as "the dwelling upon pain", one of the primal causes of suffering. At the other end of the spectrum is attachment, "the dwelling upon pleasure". It's enough to give anyone whiplash. It seems to me that the suffering happens because I am too quick to make my happiness contingent upon experiencing pleasure. So does that mean I am doomed to give up my happiness every time I don't like what happens? The actions of others are not within my control! I don't want to give away control over my happiness. It occurs to be that if I identify as a calm observer, a peaceful soul having adventures, experiences, that don't have to go one way or another, then what happens doesn't matter as much. Patanjali suggests cultivating an attitude of friendliness toward happiness. Inviting it in when I don't feel it. Also, compassion toward suffering. Does that mean I can allow myself to be happy anytime AND forgive myself and others for forgetting? Hmmm...
What do you think?
For me, I've noticed it sometimes has to do with my body (not enough sleep, wrong foods) but always with my thoughts. For example: "I am so tired" or "I don't want to do this", or "what if I can't do this?", or "what if this doesn't work?", or "you always do this," or"I can't believe I have to deal with this", or "how dare so-and-so do this?" You get the idea. It's about resisting whatever I don't like. Tough for me, because it is what it is. It's not about me.
Patanjali defines aversion in the Yoga Sutras as "the dwelling upon pain", one of the primal causes of suffering. At the other end of the spectrum is attachment, "the dwelling upon pleasure". It's enough to give anyone whiplash. It seems to me that the suffering happens because I am too quick to make my happiness contingent upon experiencing pleasure. So does that mean I am doomed to give up my happiness every time I don't like what happens? The actions of others are not within my control! I don't want to give away control over my happiness. It occurs to be that if I identify as a calm observer, a peaceful soul having adventures, experiences, that don't have to go one way or another, then what happens doesn't matter as much. Patanjali suggests cultivating an attitude of friendliness toward happiness. Inviting it in when I don't feel it. Also, compassion toward suffering. Does that mean I can allow myself to be happy anytime AND forgive myself and others for forgetting? Hmmm...
What do you think?
Monday, April 21, 2008
Practicing rescue 911, again and again and again
We all permeate the same field of consciousness. Our being is the universal mind-stage that holds every actor and every prop manifested within it. Yet the on occasion the mind thinks - I am alone, or I don't belong here, or, there are no options, or I am too young/old etc.
One can always count on self deception. In reality, is any character separate from the novelist? Is any one wave independent of the ocean?
Our essence is a pure mind, free of the delusions created by guilt, fear, anger, greed or selfishness - the delusions that dirty the windshield of perception. Our true Self is peaceful, blissful, quiet mind. A mind that has the ability to manifest whatever it wants - to materialize, sustain, edit or delete any storyline at any point.
But how to clean out the dirty filters from the mind? The same way one replaces a dirty Brita filter - by throwing it out and putting a clean one. Patanjali tells us in the Yoga Sutras that "when you consistently cultivate the opposite (positive) thoughts and emotions, the unwholesome (negative) tendencies are gradually destroyed."
Of course, who learns these things in theory? It takes an angry call from the boss, or the news that one of the kids crashed the car, or that someone borrowed your credit card number, etc. Like everything, it's all about practice. Consistent practice.
In the Hindu tradition, Hanuman is a monkey warrior that rescues Sita, a goddess who was kidnapped by a demon who shape shifted as a monk to trick her. The demon symbolizes the "hooks" that trick us into forgetting our true nature. Hanuman, in turn, represents our breath, which is the tool for a "time out". When the breath slows, thoughts slow. When thoughts slow, it becomes easier to observe our feelings and needs before reacting (or not). Sita in reality is getting kidnapped over and over again, but the warrior Hanuman, steadfast in his service, is never too far off.
One can always count on self deception. In reality, is any character separate from the novelist? Is any one wave independent of the ocean?
Our essence is a pure mind, free of the delusions created by guilt, fear, anger, greed or selfishness - the delusions that dirty the windshield of perception. Our true Self is peaceful, blissful, quiet mind. A mind that has the ability to manifest whatever it wants - to materialize, sustain, edit or delete any storyline at any point.
But how to clean out the dirty filters from the mind? The same way one replaces a dirty Brita filter - by throwing it out and putting a clean one. Patanjali tells us in the Yoga Sutras that "when you consistently cultivate the opposite (positive) thoughts and emotions, the unwholesome (negative) tendencies are gradually destroyed."
Of course, who learns these things in theory? It takes an angry call from the boss, or the news that one of the kids crashed the car, or that someone borrowed your credit card number, etc. Like everything, it's all about practice. Consistent practice.
In the Hindu tradition, Hanuman is a monkey warrior that rescues Sita, a goddess who was kidnapped by a demon who shape shifted as a monk to trick her. The demon symbolizes the "hooks" that trick us into forgetting our true nature. Hanuman, in turn, represents our breath, which is the tool for a "time out". When the breath slows, thoughts slow. When thoughts slow, it becomes easier to observe our feelings and needs before reacting (or not). Sita in reality is getting kidnapped over and over again, but the warrior Hanuman, steadfast in his service, is never too far off.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Toby, the 7 year old yogi (click here to see his Mom's web site)
"Today I opened the shades on the window window to my heart. I found out that love looks like a lovely wind that sings in a voice so beautiful I just can't listen to it. It is like the sun, you can't look at it or touch it but yet the voice is so nice and there are musical notes in the air. Love is like a nice summer day and you are doing nothing but laying and relaxing in the sand, in the hot tub, and looking at the water. Love is what you want it to be; whatever you think love is, that is what it is."
Toby, 7
New York City
Toby, 7
New York City
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